my boyfriends coming tomorrow and i havent seen him in a month and im so excited! i was gonna have a long lie in so i didnt have much time to wait till he got here but it turns out i have work at 6, its gonna drag so much
the dude who pulls out a cigarette in front of a girl with lung cancer and then acts like sir dickweed mcfucklamp when she doesn’t understand the worst metaphor on earth seems to be tumblr’s newest squeeze
Do you do that thing too when you enter a Zara or H&M and just go like “that’s from Balenciaga”, “oh Givenchy”, “here is Balmain”, “I think I saw this at Haider Ackermann”…
the stupidest thing ive ever done was expect a kleptomaniac to understand my jokes. dude took everything literally.
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
mom that cigarette pack you found in my bag??? its a metaphor