on a wednesday, in a cafe i watched it begin again

my boyfriends coming tomorrow and i havent seen him in a month and im so excited! i was gonna have a long lie in so i didnt have much time to wait till he got here but it turns out i have work at 6, its gonna drag so much

1 day ago · 1 note

pinkgills:

the dude who pulls out a cigarette in front of a girl with lung cancer and then acts like sir dickweed mcfucklamp when she doesn’t understand the worst metaphor on earth seems to be tumblr’s newest squeeze

(via andthatlittleblackdress)

1 day ago · 38,119 notes

dyaphanum:

Do you do that thing too when you enter a Zara or H&M and just go like “that’s from Balenciaga”, “oh Givenchy”, “here is Balmain”, “I think I saw this at Haider Ackermann”…

(via gisele-bundtcake)

haleyscomett-art:

I FOUND IT

NO ONE BELIEVED ME WHEN I SAID I HEARD AN ICE CREAM TRUCK DROPIN BEATS DOWN THE STREET

NOW I HAVE A VID TO PROVE IT OMG I’M SO HAPPY I DIDN’T IMAGINE IT YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME

(via shavingryansprivates)

druggiefresh:

the stupidest thing ive ever done was expect a kleptomaniac to understand my jokes. dude took everything literally.

(via shavingryansprivates)

1 day ago · 827 notes

In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

(via ed-ingle)

1 day ago · 83,016 notes
1 day ago · 11,170 notes

dick-rider-dave-strider:

dick-rider-dave-strider:

grandmoms are precious and must be protected at all costs

i told her i was posting this on tumblr and she said “let me know how many hits i get!!!” so just watch this and make an old woman happy

(via beforetheworst)

1 day ago · 76,655 notes

(Source: bromo-aj, via beyoncebeytwice)

1 day ago · 231,682 notes

inspiring:

mom that cigarette pack you found in my bag??? its a metaphor

(via beyoncebeytwice)

1 day ago · 43,178 notes